10/24/2006 China Day 29: SUV Saga --> Paryang, Tibet - Bivy Sack Womb
Woke up this morning at 2:23 AM from a very soothing dream and wrote this down immediately in my journal. From a perception standpoint, the entire dream took place from within my red bivy sack in which I was sleeping that night.
To better understand my dream, you should visualize the breathing opening for my sleeping bag is shaped like a semicircular tunnel mouth. The same is true of my bivy sack. So when I'm looking out through my sleeping bag and bivy sack at night, everything looks like I'm viewing it through a tunnel mouth.
And so it was too in my dream that all interaction with the outside world took place through a tunnel mouth. And in my dream, the outside world was an unknown woman. But everything I needed, whether warmth, food, drink, or love, I told this woman, and I received it without much effort on my part except to ask for it. I'm not sure what language we were speaking, and I'm not sure exactly what I asked for or how I received it, but it was a very warm and nurturing environment.
Thinking back upon my dream now, it seemed very wombish. I needed things, I wanted things, and without budging much of any muscles, except for telling a woman waiting at the mouth of my perception tunnel, I received them all, perhaps through an umbilical cord, although I felt no abdominal sensation in my dream or after waking up.
The only other sensation I had throughout the dream was that I kept wondering who this woman was. I knew it wasn't Kim, the only female in our 4-person travelling group, because she has a boyfriend (who is travelling with us) and has never really been caring or nourishing to me in that kind of way. It also wasn't Tian Fang, who has been caring to me in exactly this kind of way when I was sick with food poisoning in Golmud, Qinghai and Lhasa, Tibet. Tian Fang tried to get me whatever she thought I needed even without my asking, or wen I did ask, she got me what I asked for without me having to move much. But in my dream, it wasn't Tian Fang, because she wasn't there in reality, and my dream had that grounding in reality. For the same reason, it wasn't Max either.
So in my hazy dream state of mind, I kept turning over and over who this mystery woman was. I kept thinking who was in the tour group and who was female. Kim. OK, but it wasn't her. So I would recount the number of people in the group: 4. I knew the other 3 (including me) were all male. so it wasn't anyone from our tour group. Or was it? kept struggling in my dream with the possibility that I had missed a woman travelling with us. That night, we were actually camping with another group of 4 travellers that the Belgian couple (Kim and Rembi) had met before and introduced me to in Lhasa - well, only 2 of 4 of the 2nd group. There was also 1 female in that group, also taken, and also had never shown me any kind of affection. So it wasn't her either.
Of course, I never did figure out who this mystery woman was - either in my dream or after waking up - probably because she is no one in particular and does not really exist. When I woke up due to dogs barking in the distance, I didn't have a feeling of sadness or loneliness that this woman didn't exist or that no one is taking care of me in this manner right now. Rather, the feelings of warmth and compassion persisted from my dream, perhaps with the warm antcipation that someday soon someone like this mystery woman will take care of me.
To better understand my dream, you should visualize the breathing opening for my sleeping bag is shaped like a semicircular tunnel mouth. The same is true of my bivy sack. So when I'm looking out through my sleeping bag and bivy sack at night, everything looks like I'm viewing it through a tunnel mouth.
And so it was too in my dream that all interaction with the outside world took place through a tunnel mouth. And in my dream, the outside world was an unknown woman. But everything I needed, whether warmth, food, drink, or love, I told this woman, and I received it without much effort on my part except to ask for it. I'm not sure what language we were speaking, and I'm not sure exactly what I asked for or how I received it, but it was a very warm and nurturing environment.
Thinking back upon my dream now, it seemed very wombish. I needed things, I wanted things, and without budging much of any muscles, except for telling a woman waiting at the mouth of my perception tunnel, I received them all, perhaps through an umbilical cord, although I felt no abdominal sensation in my dream or after waking up.
The only other sensation I had throughout the dream was that I kept wondering who this woman was. I knew it wasn't Kim, the only female in our 4-person travelling group, because she has a boyfriend (who is travelling with us) and has never really been caring or nourishing to me in that kind of way. It also wasn't Tian Fang, who has been caring to me in exactly this kind of way when I was sick with food poisoning in Golmud, Qinghai and Lhasa, Tibet. Tian Fang tried to get me whatever she thought I needed even without my asking, or wen I did ask, she got me what I asked for without me having to move much. But in my dream, it wasn't Tian Fang, because she wasn't there in reality, and my dream had that grounding in reality. For the same reason, it wasn't Max either.
So in my hazy dream state of mind, I kept turning over and over who this mystery woman was. I kept thinking who was in the tour group and who was female. Kim. OK, but it wasn't her. So I would recount the number of people in the group: 4. I knew the other 3 (including me) were all male. so it wasn't anyone from our tour group. Or was it? kept struggling in my dream with the possibility that I had missed a woman travelling with us. That night, we were actually camping with another group of 4 travellers that the Belgian couple (Kim and Rembi) had met before and introduced me to in Lhasa - well, only 2 of 4 of the 2nd group. There was also 1 female in that group, also taken, and also had never shown me any kind of affection. So it wasn't her either.
Of course, I never did figure out who this mystery woman was - either in my dream or after waking up - probably because she is no one in particular and does not really exist. When I woke up due to dogs barking in the distance, I didn't have a feeling of sadness or loneliness that this woman didn't exist or that no one is taking care of me in this manner right now. Rather, the feelings of warmth and compassion persisted from my dream, perhaps with the warm antcipation that someday soon someone like this mystery woman will take care of me.
posted by Coquin at 9:03 PM
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